Who Wants To Live Forever
by Pirate-Girl1017
Summary: Time goes on as it always has, seasons change, kingdoms rise and fall. For some the end of the war brings about a new era of peace and joy, but for one the looming shadow of eternity is a dark road even in these happy times. Is this all that is left for a broken hearted Elf or will fate be kind?


**Disclaimer****: **I am but a loving fan who wishes to show her affection for the world of Tolkien and the films of Jackson. Nothing done by either is mine to call my own.

It had been over sixty years since the bloody battle for Erebor, a lifetime for some, the blink of an eye to others. And every year since, on the same day early in the final season of the year a single figure was seen passing through the gates of the Lonely Mountain. None of the elders ever questioned the arrival of the hooded visitor, the Dwarves of Erebor had long since grown used to the presence and left the doors of the crypt unlocked as a kindness not often bestowed on those outside their kind. A new generation had grown up under the mountain, many of which were still holding tight to the long held hatred against the race of the cloaked mourner. There was never any direct confrontation, no one ever tried to block the yearly ritual but the whispers never really died down. After the War of the Ring some of the tension at last began to dissipate, the Free Peoples of Middle Earth banding together as they had not done for an Age. With the enemy at long last defeated there was a sense of relief that passed across the land carried on a swift wind and all rejoiced. It was on the day the mysterious figure was due to make their appearance that found two friends waiting at the door to the royal tombs.

In the flickering light of the torches just the barest hint of pale hands and fiery hair was made visible beneath the pitch black of the heavy cloak. One of the companions had only recently heard the tale behind this almost legend, strange as he could remember waiting up to near to dawn with childhood friends on a dare to catch a glimpse of the dark figure. The other had not laid eyes on the person before him in over six decades but would know her anywhere and managed a smile though it did not reach his eyes. Slender hands pulled back the deep hood and the the two friends greeted the weary _elleth_ before them.

Tauriel had not aged a day since the Battle of the Five Armies. But though she was still as beautiful as only an Elf could be, her face showed all the sorrow and hardship of the years since. There were actually scars upon her pale skin, wounds she refused to treat or even aided in their permanence. Dark circles laid heavily under green eyes that no longer sparkled in reckless mischief as they once did. High cheekbones gave way to hollows, once creamy flesh now lay sallow. The former Captain of the Guard was fading.

"It has been a long time, Legolas," her smile only looked bright in the firelight.

"It has, old friend." The Prince reach out to grasp her arms in greeting which she returned, albeit weakly. "Please allow me to introduce you to my dearest of friends, Gimli son of Gloin."

"At your service, Lady Tauriel," the burly Dwarf took her hand in both of his, laying a kiss upon it. "An honor it is to meet you."

"And you as well Master Dwarf. I recall a time when our mutual friend was not so kind upon seeing your face in a locket, your father did not take too kindly on his words." For a brief moment the sharp tongue and quick humor that so distinguished the she-elf from her kin shone again, only to fall back to darkness as thoughts of the past rose around them like black waves. Legolas watched the light flare and fade in her green eyes and felt a pang in his heart ache for her, she did not deserve this pain.

"We came here to gain support for Gimli's proposal for a colony in the Glittering Caves. When the date was realized there was no question as to whether or not to accompany you."

"No one has ever come before," scarred hands wrung in a show of uncharacteristic nervousness.

"It is far past time you had someone to share your burden with."

"My cousin, Mahal bless his soul, would not have wanted you to be alone lass."

They let Tauriel lead the way, down the steep stone steps whose dips and bends she had long ago memorized. Their way was lit with crystal lamps, the lowest doors were of heavy iron and wrought with golden ravens. She had only to push with one hand for the doors to open, the locks still had their keys within their holes. A long hallway stretched out before them, the walls inlaid with mosaics made of precious gems depicting the history of Durin's folk. At the end was a circular chamber, an almost impossibly high dome reaching far above them made up to resemble the night sky. Seven large diamonds glittered in the pale lamplight forming the constellation of Durin's Crown. Carven niches filled the curved wall, dug deep to hold the large stone sarcophagi embedded there. Legolas and Gimli both paused at the threshold, in not only awe but in reverence. Though this was not the first time either had come to pay respects to those buried here, the sad beauty of this place never ceased to take one's breath away. Tauriel though kept her steady pace, crossing the black and white marble floor to a set of three tombs at the center. She stopped before the first, bowing her head in respect, trailing her fingers along the gleaming blade of Orcrist, still bright and never dulling even after all these years. At the second she again bent her head and laid her right hand, which now in the slightly more luminous light showed half her fingers bore the tell tale mark of knowing the kiss of the flames, upon the golden emblem of two crossed swords. It was before the third grave that she finally dropped to her knees. From the folds of her cloak she pulled a small bouquet of kingsfoil, removing the dried bunch from the year before and placing the new gently upon a silver sigil of a bow and arrow.

As they approached the tears were already flowing like little rivers down her cheeks. She made no sound, her cries and sobs were all used up years ago. But somehow this silent weeping was far worse, in the quiet the drip of tears on stone echoed like thunder.

"When an Elf loves they love completely and only ever once. Should the one who holds their heart pass on, they will mourn them for the rest of their lives.," Legolas said, his voice low and reverent.

"Dwarves are much the same," Gimli continued. "We have our One and nothing will ever replace that which we have lost."

"And the pain will never lessen, never end, until the day the two halves are reunited in the next world. But Elves and Dwarves do not share the same home beyond the Halls of Mandos," her voice began to break with every new word. "So no matter how much I grieve, how desperately I wish to succumb and let myself fade I cannot. Not even the peace of sailing to the West is afforded to me. For if I do then I doom myself to an eternity where I cannot even have the solace of visiting his grave...to be close to him in any way at all."

Legolas reached out to lay a had on her shoulder but hovered just barely above the ebony velvet. Gimli sniffled, trying in vain to cover the sound, he still missed his elder cousins fiercely and it always brought a tear to his eye to speak of them. This though, this was the very image of heartbreak. The Elf told his Dwarven companion all he knew of the sad tale, of how Tauriel of Mirkwood had loved Prince Kili of Erebor only to loose him all too soon. Someone had overheard them and it was not long after that songs of their tragedy were being sung both under the mountains and among the trees. How times had changed, when not so long ago it was the actions of that love which had ended in Tauriel's banishment. Though his father had taken back his harsh words, hurting to this day for how he treated the ward whom he saw as a daughter, she would not return.

"I have hunted the vile race that took him from me, one by one I find them and slaughter all that I find. And I relish each blow I take in the process, for it is all I deserve for failing the one I should have protected." She turned her eyes to the floor, her shoulders sinking, body curling into a feeble ball. "But now with their master dead and Mordor destroyed...they are harder and harder to find...What am I do now that my purpose is gone? How do I keep his eyes from finding me in my sleep?"

"Oh _mellon nin_," Legolas dropped down beside her, pulling her into his arms as she fell apart. Next to them Gimli reached out to stroke the crown of her hair, careful not to tug on the nest of tangles she let it become.

"Kili would want you to live, lass, live as well and full as he would have. I have seen those who have lost their One, the weight they carry is unlike any other pain one can imagine. But they do their best to carry on to honor their memory."

"But I have avenged him a hundred times over, traveled to the Blue Mountains so that his mother would have his rune stone returned to her, lived on each day as though it were my last. And yet though my body wishes to rest I cannot, I cannot loose him...here at the end of an Age my Kili is further from me than ever..." Her watery eyes looked up at them, begging for answers, pleading for peace and it was a dagger in their hearts to know there was naught to be done. "What am I to do?"

The sound of footsteps silenced them, three sets of red rimmed eyes turned to the doors, waiting with baited breath for they knew not what. A peculiar pattern accompanied the steps, a third sound, the tapping of wood on stone. As a shadow began to grow on the floor, long and dark, a pale form finally came behind it, a kindly smile attached to a familiar face.

"_Mithrandir_," Legolas looked on in surprise, having no idea that the wizard was passing through this part of the world.

"What brings you here, old friend?" Gimli made his best attempt to appear welcoming, clumsily wiping wetness from his face.

Tauriel stayed silent, lost in her own thoughts.

"The tying up of loose ends before my final journey." Gandalf walked toward them, paying small respects to the tombs he passed until he stopped before the sad trio and knelt. One hand gripped his staff, with the other he lifted the chin of the silently weeping elf to look directly into her eyes.

"Hello Tauriel," his voice was soft, simply greeting her as though he dare not startle her.

"For neigh on seventy years I have come here and not once has anyone come with me." Her own voice seemed hollow now, all that passion from mere moments before had taken all her fire. "Why so many now?"

"Because you need the comfort of those who understand your pain, from one who knows you well and one who knew and cared for him."

"Such comfort will not do much good, they cannot be at my side all hours of every day. I do appreciate what I can take now, but like all things in my life it will not last."

"It is not for longer than the here and now that I am referring to," one long finger trailed down the side of her sunken face. "The time has come to let go, daughter of the forest, here your sorrows end and you might rest." Elf and Dwarf looked to one another in confusion, the lady between them stilled as rigid as a statue.

"What mean you?"

"You know of what I speak," the wizard spoke slowly. "The world has changed, your people are leaving, those that stay live in peace with the mortal races and the men of the South begin to reclaim their ancient holds across the land. It is time for you to leave this realm behind, be free of this pain you have carried for so long and rest as you deserve."

"I deserve no such reward!" She shrank back into the arms that held her, fear on her face that startled the two beside her. "What pain I carry is justly held, for my failure. There is naught else left for me, no love to light my way, no revenge to enflame my blood, nothing. And I will bare it until this mountain crumbles down around me, for then at least I might be buried with the one I love!"

"It is on behalf of him that I come in the first place."

The chamber went silent with shock.

"What did you say?" she asked breathlessly.

"Do you know under whom I was taught? Why out of all the Maiar on this earth that I care for not for only a single race, or loose myself in study but traveled far and wide seeking those who were in need of aid and counsel?" None of the three answered, for none had ever thought to ask or pry into the affairs of those who came from across the sea. "It was Nienna, Vala of Sorrow, Mourning and Pity. She has cried many tears for the woes of our world, from it's very beginning and will until it's end. And she weeps for you, Tauriel, just as she wept for all lovers separated so cruelly by fate."

"Lady Nienna is often called The Compassionate," Legolas said and Gimli nodded, though both were still unsure where Gandalf meant this revelation to go.

"She is also sister to Mandos, he who lords over those who have passed on." There was gleam in the keen blue eyes of the White Wizard, it fairly glowed as he continued to speak. "This Age is one of great change and of such magnitude after the final defeat of the Dark Lord, nothing will ever be the same again. My lady has pleaded on your behalf to her brother, do not ask how I know of such a meeting, for it is not mine to tell," he silenced them when all three opened their mouths to speak. "As I said, she weeps for you and though such a will was unprecedented in the past...her request has been granted."

"...and what was her request?" Tauriel now looked more fragile than ever, as though she knew the answer to her question would either heal these last decades wounds or send her plummeting down into a sorrow that would never let her go.

"That upon entering his halls, after your judgement that it be the will of the Valar that you would be reunited with Kili as you both deserve."

A shuddering sound echoed through the tomb, followed by a laugh that while at first cracked with disuse soon rang like bells in their ears. Jumping from Legolas' arms she launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Gandalf and thanked him in both Elvish and Common over and over again. Behind her the two friends looked on in astonishment, such a thing as this had never been heard of, of either Elf or Dwarf moving from one realm to another so freely. But as the news sank in, even through the means of such a reunion could only mean one thing, they found themselves smiling for the ones they cared for would be happy again at last.

It did not take long for Tauriel to give into her fate. After explaining in short terms just who she was to the King Under the Mountain the former Captain was given a room in the wing of the palace reserved for visiting dignitaries. It finer than anything she could have expected for herself. With care she washed the years of living in the wilderness away, brushing her long curling hair until it burned bright like flame. She was gifted with a green gown that matched her eyes, though far more ornate than any Elven garment she found it beautiful all the same. And then she lay down in her canopied bed and waited.

There were a few visitors to that came to her in the next few days, the most surprising of all being King Thranduil himself. Alone the two spoke of the past, made their apologies to one another and reminisced about the loved ones they knew awaited them. When the Woodland ruler left all knew she had little time left. Gimli said his goodbyes to the Elf he hardly knew but wished he might have had the chance to call her friend. Gandalf wished her peace at last and promised to see her again soon, as he would begin his last journey to sail West with his fellow guardians. Legolas never left her side. Even as she turned white, paler than the silk sheets she rested upon, as her green gaze became cloudy and her strength left her weak he would not let her fade alone. When she could not even move her lips to say goodbye he laid a finger against them and told her not to worry.

"Rest, there is no need for farewell now, I intend to follow our kin someday too. I expect a hardy welcome when next we meet," he smiled down at her. The Prince refused to cry, she had seen more tears than most could bare, he would withhold his until she could no longer see him. Night was falling when he knew the moment was upon them. From outside the huge window beside the bed they could see the stars twinkling high in the inky sky. A dark cloud cover hid the rise of the moon at first but when a strong wind blew them away the Silvan Elf's hazy eyes widened at the sight of a bright red glow where there was normally pale silver. The fire moon was huge as it drifted through the starry sea of night. Her breath hitched and became hurried as she looked upon the sight, a memory from long ago came to mind and Legolas knew the time had come.

A tiny spark of light lit in her face, the last of the light that was her gift as one of the First Born. With the last of her waning strength she somehow forced her hand to lift, reaching toward the scarlet orb in the sky, fingers stretching out as if she might touch the heavens if she tried just hard enough. It broke his heart to watch her leave him, to leave this world and he remembered all the years of her growing up, teaching her to shoot, reliving the pride he felt as she rose in the ranks. But she had not been happy in this world for a long time and though he knew he would miss her terribly he knew he was glad to see her suffering come to an end.

"I can see him," her voice drew him back from his thoughts. And he felt his hurting heart skip a beat. She was smiling, well and truly smiling. Her eyes were at last dry of tears, her wane face light and happy, those forest green eyes filled with love for the first time in over sixty years.

"Go to him, Tauriel, he is waiting for you."

"Kili."

That was the last word she ever said, her breath quietly ceasing, her eyes closing and her smile never fading from her lips. Her hand closed around something Legolas could not see but he did not need his eyes to know that the hand she grasped was there to carry her away and lead her home. The funeral was simple, with only the few who knew the true story in attendance but she would not have wanted it any other way. They laid her in secret in the royal tomb, in a niche beside the one she loved so that they might be together in all ways for eternity. Tauriel was at last at rest, she and her Dwarven Prince were united in the lands beyond the sea, as they deserved, as they always should have been. And for that happiness Legolas would be forever grateful, his dear friend was given a precious gift and of that he would add to her song, lest anyone forget the happy ending to the tale of Tauriel and Kili.

**Author's Note****: **First attempt at writing for Middle Earth, oh was this intimidating. Trying to find a way to allow these two a happy afterlife was not easy, pulling in the Valar was the only way I could figure out how to do so. What did you all think? Decent? Horrible? Let me know! Currently I'm putting the final touches on a much happier one shot, still with touches of Kiliel but centering on a different couple entirely. Until then, happy reading!


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